I am not sure how often I’ve read the following, but I find more meaning today than I have in the distant past. You’ll understand after you have completed the reading.
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters?, Who never did?, Who won’t anymore and Who always will?, So, don’t worry about people from your past, There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future. ~ unknown
Yes, yes, I understand – a standing ovation is certainly in order, for the person who coined that, right? What do I mean by “more meaningful today…” I now know that most all my numerous, “religious” friends of times past, like I, were more in love with the notion of religion than actually having religion or a deep level of spirituality. This piece means more today to me because a few of these friends in particular, who were quite instrumental in my religiosity are no longer a part of my life. The sad thing is I truly had a strong love for them – at least I think I loved them. You see, I have longed believed that you cannot love someone else unless you first love yourself. But, we digress.
One person in particular, let’s call her April, is married and I guess living happily with her husband overseas. A good and mutual friend of April’s and mine, let’s call her Candice, stated she asked April to call me because I wanted to speak with her. April asked, quite piously, “…what do I want to talk to him for…?” Because April and I were very close friends, like brother and sister, her piousness stung me and stunk to high heaven. My response to Candace, although directed at April, is blasphemous and I apologize for there’s not enough time to revisit my response here, but suffice it to say, I was quite ugly and had you been there to hear me spew out such blasphemies, I would have only asked that you forgive and be patient for god is not through with me! LOL. Sometimes, I pull out the photo album and muse through it and I think of April and all my “religious brothers and sisters” of old, many of whom no longer associate with people like me – a sinner (loosely stated). Back then it would have bothered me to know that someone does not like me as I was so accustomed to wanting everyone to like me (probably because I didn’t love myself) – isn’t that interesting?
But now, I am at the arrival point in my life where I understand Who Matters, Who Really Don’t Matter, and Who Won’t Matter eventually or anymore. But I might add and or clarify that I am quite aware of Who Always Will Matter. I find that almost without exception that it is Family Who Will Always Matter. This very important life lesson has provided me with 20/20 vision to see quite clearly why those who don’t want to be in my future won’t be in my future nor me in theirs. And I am at peace with that. And I have already had a conversation with you regarding peace, so enough said, Period, Case-Closed.