Category Archives: Inspiration

Topics surrounding: adulation, illumination, motivation – things of the spirit.

Chapter 3, “It’s None of My Business”

Once, I’d had been listening to a close friend of mine tell me something which was said against her. What was said about her is irrelevant.  But what came out of my mouth to her – was very relevant and an awakening for she and I.  And this friend of mine was going on and on, ranting and raving about what she would say to this person when she saw her.  As I listened on, intently – not because what the person had allegedly said about my friend was important, but because this friend was clearly bothered by the comment. And I listened and looked on intently in an attempt to see if this friend of mine clearly believed Herself the comment that was said against her.  Go back and read that again, I promise you that there is wisdom in it.   You know, sometimes, people will drain you.  Yes, there I said it.  Yes, people, to include family, friends, co-workers, etc., etc. will drain you of your precious energies.   As I looked on, I could tell at a small level that my friend believed the comment – Herself.  Finally, when she had taken a breath, in which it was almost like a “reloading” lol…I jumped in with a simple comment, “What Cathy (not her real name) Thinks of You Is Really None of YOUR Business!”  My friend stopped in mid-sentence and was about to unleash a deadly rash of “whatever” against me when I saw quite clearly her anger meter go from a hundred fifty to Zero!  And then there was a twinkle in her eye.  Sanity returned and she had regained control of herself.  You would have had to been there to appreciate the moment.

 Commentary

Wisdom offers itself up in our lives – daily.  And when it finds just the opportune moment to slip in as it did in the aforementioned case, you simply had a different view on life.  Do you not find it interesting that in all actuality, when the clock tolls 5pm and the office shuts down and the malls turns off their lights that nothing really really matters as it relates to the small thinking of another person?  Think about it, nothing that anyone has ever said about you verbally and or written was an instrument by which you paid your bills.  Humor me!  The very next time someone feels “led” to share with you thoughts on what some other had to say about you that was in no way flattering, simply tell them, “Ya know, that really is none my business!”  – Period, Case-Closed!

Ps:  Oh, do write and tell me how you felt afterwards.  :0)

Always Ask Questions

I have long been interested in learning – in truth!  I have always asked questions.  It is just a part of my nature.  My father, my biological father, whom I have been getting to know for the last 7 years, I met for the second time in my life when I was 34.  The first time I recall, was around I think 9 years of age.  I can so tell you some stories, but dirty laundry is not to be aired, but we all have skeletons, issues – histories!  But “God is still Good!”  Everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. 

But, I digress, this father of mine said something to me that I hold quite valuable.   He said to me, in a deep, thoughtful, and proper tone, “Derek, you were just a thinking child; you were always asking questions…you always asked questions!”  He said it in a way like he could see my asking questions as if it were yesterday.  Now, you have to recall, I only recall seeing my biological father once around 9 years of age and the second time when I was 34 years old.  Can you see why that piece of information I hold so dear?  It gives me insight into who I was as a child and/or the talents that the creator (you can call Him God if you like…) instilled in me.  I have ALWAYS asked questions.   As a paralegal, that is a talent that I find foundational in the legal field.  The more questions and the better the question, the more knowledge and perspective one gains. 

I have a question, “What does it mean to you have a certain “lifestyle”?  The question could relate socially, economically, culturally – you just think about the question?  Now, as you ponder the question, I would like for you to think of something, “How your white skin, black skin, brown skin, sex, sexuality, economic status, your BMW or Volkswagen, your mother, the father – the family that you have?”   And let’s pretend I say to you – “that whatever your answers are responses are…they are all WRONG!”  That your skin color is wrong, that your mother shouldn’t be so tall or short…your father shouldn’t be cross-eyed, your sister should not have been a prostitute, your brother died of aids and that is a reflection on you!  I want you to really think about the question of “lifestyle” and does your family, your job, your car have an effect on your Lifestyle?  If you’d like, then share your thoughts.   But in the meantime, always remember to Ask Questions, the better the question, the better the response and you therefore gain in knowledge and perspective – Period, Case-Closed.

Perceived Complications

Recently, I read the following “…we don’t need to complicate all the reasons behind our emotions…it’s much simpler than that, there are only two categories, good feelings and bad feelings.” Now, think about that for a second. There are only good feelings and bad feelings.  You and I could easily come up with more, but ask yourself this one question, “Have I ever felt good and bad  – At The Same Time?”  No, you have not.  Now, the writer above said to keep it simple and really, I understand this need to complicate things more so than what we need to.  Nevertheless, life on many levels really is that simple.  You can not feel bad and good at the same time!  And that extensive list of emotions that we are sure to develop is sure to fall within the range of  “Good Feelings” or “Bad Feelings”.  Whatever you are dealing with, a problem, a decision, a job, family, a married man or woman or both, (Oh, yes, I did go there, don’t make me blog “Perceived Complications Part 2”)…try to determine exactly what it is that you are feeling.  If it is bad, then you’ve some work to do. But then, if the feelings are good, you still may have some work to do, right?  I mean, look at it this way…She is still married!  He is still married!  I don’t care how he or she makes you feel…they are still married.  There is nothing complicated about that.  So quit playing!  Make up your mind to be at peace.  Remember, we have visited this topic of peace before.  Good feelings sometimes come with a price, but is it a fair trade-off to your self-respect or peace of mind?   There are no complications, Period, Case-Closed!

Turning Inward

“Silence is a quiet space within where dialogue between the self and the soul happens.” from the book, Mediation Within, by Laura Ward Holliday.

I am learning more and more how to take the above statement literally.  Some may call it prayer, others may call it meditation, still others may call it quiet time, my time, me time, etc, etc.  Call it what you will, but would you agree with me that today, seemingly more than ever we need that “quiet time” to become certain about that which is uncertain to us, to embrace the idea of clarity over confusion and/or truth over the lies?  If you’ve not had the opportunity lately to just “be”…then, keep living, and should you become overwhelmed with the lower realities of life, then recall this conversation about “turning inward”.  Yes, Laura, therein all the answers lie…Period, Case-Closed!

Keep My Love As a Gift

Ok, I thought I was finished for today, but then, I was compelled to pull out this lovely book once again.  I opened it, flipped a few pages and this is what I read.

I gave into love, I gave into pain, I gave into you.  I gave away everything I had, everything I am.  I even stepped outside of myself in a desperate attempt to prove my love and exposed myself to more disappointment than my tolerance of pain.  When the price of love is yourself – the cost is too high, so I’m taking me back.  Keep My Love As A Gift To You.  Do this for the remembrance of me.  Now – Please, pardon me while I be myself!  — from the book, “Pardon Me While I Be Myself”, by Doris Colona Travis

I think we all can benefit from that statement, whether its a job, that significant other, a child, husband or wife, friendship – bills, discontentment, disappointments…take yourself back, excuse yourselves from the situation, Pardon yourself and Be Yourself, Period, Case-Closed.

An Apology

We often feel the need to apologize to other people when we have done them an injustice, but we never extend the same courtesy to ourselves.  I OWE ME AN APOLOGY!  I owe me an apology for the emotional abuse I’ve allowed me to suffer.  I owe me an apology for believing in someone more than I did me.  I owe me an apology for not listening to me.  I owe me an apology for ignoring my needs.  I owe me an apology for hurting my feelings by sometimes not wanting to be me.  I owe me an apology for denying my body nourishment as I overwhelmed my mind with mental anguish.  I owe me an apology for the embarrassment I have caused myself.  I apologize for all these wrongs I have inflicted on me and ask myself to recognize my shortcomings.  To understand and forgive me for the long suffering and pain.  I never meant to let me hurt.  I APOLOGIZE. 

From the book, “Pardon Me While I Be Myself”, by Doris Colona Travis.  Now, please, go back, read this post again, this time with a greater sense of Conviction, Period, Case-Closed!